76 Best Jokes About Ghosts

  • By Sam Ashford
  • First Published: July 15, 2024
  • Last Updated: September 9, 2025

Ghost jokes

Ghosts are meant to be frightening. After all, their favourite pastime is scaring people. And what do people do when they’re scared of something they can’t see?

Sometimes, they freak out, and it all spirals from there. But other times, they make jokes about it.

Top 70+ Jokes About Ghosts

Super silly ghost jokes to start you off

We want to start off silly, just to get you in the mood:

Top Rated

  1. Why did the ghost leave the party? He needed to get his sheet together.
  2. Where did the daddy ghost leave the baby ghosts before work? At the day-scare.
  3. Where do ghosts like hanging out the most? In the living room.
  4. What does the panda ghost eat? Bam-boo.
  5. What did the ghost teacher tell his students? Pay attention to the board; I’ll go through it again.
  6. Why is everyone making fun of the boy ghost? Because he’s always eating his boo-gers.
  7. How do you call a ghost that plays football? A ghoul-keeper.
  8. Why didn’t the ghost dance alone at the club? Because he has no-body to dance with.
  9. What game do baby ghosts play? Hide and shriek.

Really funny ghost jokes

Now, we’re going to ramp it up! Just don’t laugh too hard; we don’t want you to become a ghost before your time.

  1. Why didn’t the ghost eat breakfast? He doesn’t have the stomach for it.
  1. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost on Halloween? Before you go trick or treating, remember to take a sheet.
  2. What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? Ice scream.
  3. What horses do ghosts ride? Night-mares.
  4. What did the girl ghost say to her boyfriend? You’re gonna be my boo forever.
  5. Why isn’t the ghost comedian funny? Because he’s always dead serious.
  6. Why didn’t the ghost invite his best friend to a birthday party? He couldn’t dig him up.
  7. How does a ghost lie perfectly flat? He uses a spirit level.
  8. Where do ghosts buy food? At the ghost-ery store.
  9. Why do ghosts hate going to church on Sunday? Because it’s so boo-ring.
  10. In what kind of stores do fashionable ghosts shop? In boo-tiques.
  11. What do ghosts serve at parties? They serve spirits.
  12. Why did the cops pull over a ghost? Because he didn’t have his haunting license.
  13. Where do ghosts go on holiday? They go to Mali-boo.
  14. How to tell a ghost has a broken leg? He starts boo hooing.

Even more hilarious ghost jokes

You thought we were done? Guess again. Here are some more funny ghost jokes to help you keep your smile throughout the day and get you ready for Halloween.

  1. Why was a ghost late to his first day at the ghost office? He has trouble getting up in the moaning.
  1. What do baby ghosts wear? Pillowcases.
  2. What do ghosts eat? Boo-berries.
  3. How did the inspector know that the ghost was lying? He saw right through him.
  4. What do ghost pirates do? They collect booty.
  5. Why does a ghost haunts fireplaces? Because he likes feeling toasty ghosty.
  6. What did a personal trainer say to an overweight ghost with diabetes? You need to exorcise more.
  7. Where did a ghost family go on vacation? They went to Lake Eerie.
  8. Why is a ghost having such a rough time? Because he’s stuck at the dead-end.
  9. At what time do ghosts eat breakfast? At boo o’clock.
  10. How does a ghost unlock a door? He uses a spoo-key.
  11. Why is the ghost feeling sad? Because his ghoul friend left him.
  12. Why is the ghost crying? Because he’s feeling bluoooo.
  13. Why do ghosts use escalators? Because it raises their spirit.
  14. Where did the ghost get his cookies to form? He bought it from Ghoul Scouts.

The funny ghost puns don’t seem to have an end

We have to admit we are running out of ghost material, or should we say ectoplasm?

Best Selling

  1. What type of make-up do ghosts use? They only use concealers.
  1. Why are ghosts bad? Because they like reading horror scopes.
  2. Why do ghosts like Airbnb? Because it’s easy to find a boo-king.
  3. How do you call a ghost that beats up other ghosts? A boo-lly.
  4. Why did a ghost laugh at a skeleton joke? Because he found it humerus.
  5. How do ghosts entertain themselves? They tell each other scary human stories.
  6. Why do ghouls hang out at the dive bar? Because the boos are cheap.
  7. What’s up ghost’s nose? Boogers.
  8. What did ghosts see at the theatre? They saw phantomimes.
  9. What’s a ghost’s favourite day of the week? It’s obviously fright day.
  10. Why did the ghost get lost in the fog? Because he is mist.
  1. What do ghosts from Hungary eat for dinner? They eat ghoulash.
  1. What does a ghost musician do all day? He writes sheet music.
  2. What instrument does a ghost play? Obviously, a boo-string one.
  3. What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetite!
  4. What’s a baby ghost’s favourite game? It’s peek-a-boo.
  5. Why do ghosts diet? Because they want to maintain their ghoulish figures.
  6. Why do ghouls like demons? Because, after all, demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
  7. What is a ghost’s motto? Just be scary.
  8. What’s a ghost’s favourite type of comedian? The one that’s dead funny.
  9. Why do vampires like playing baseball? Because they can turn into a bat.
  10. What is a ghost looking for at a haunted beach? His sand-witch.
  11. What does a vampire use to style his hair? He uses a scare spray.
  12. What’s a ghost’s favourite play? Phantom of the Opera.

Ghost puns and pickup lines

What do you do when you want to woo your significant other? You, of course, tell them some funny ghost puns and pickup lines.

  1. Hey boo, am I dead, or am I just wilting for you?
  1. I wanna get you into my sheets.
  2. Your grave or mine?
  3. Are you free on fright day night?
  4. Do you want to boo hoo out of here?

Some extra ghost jokes to keep the ball rolling

  1. Why did the cops pull over a ghost driver? He didn’t have his sheet belt on.
  2. What does a ghost like to eat? Spook-etti.
  3. How do ghosts make their eggs? They terrif(r)y them.
  4. What is a ghost’s favourite music genre? The boo-gy woogie.
  5. What trees do ghosts like the most? Ceme-trees.
  6. What Shakespeare’s play do ghosts enjoy watching? Romeo and Ghouliete.
  7. Why don’t ghosts like the rain? It dampens their spirit.
  8. What’s a ghost’s favourite sauce? It’s grave-y.

FAQs

Can jokes about ghosts be funny?

Sure, they can. Just scroll up and see for yourself how hilarious ghost jokes can be.

What are some song lyrics about ghosts?

  • “You will always be my boo.” – Alicia Keys and Usher
  • “Don’t call me boo like you’re some kind of ghost.” – Meghan Trainor
  • “Cause my body too BOOtylicious for ya, babe.” – Destiny’s Child
  • “I ain’t afraid of no ghost.” – Ray Parker Jr.
  • “Boo’d up” – Ella Mai

Final Thoughts

Contracts. You’ve managed to survive an onslaught of truly funny (and silly) ghost jokes, and you came out of it unscathed and, hopefully, with a smile on your face.

And if you hear anyone talking about how boring and dull ghosts are, just send them here and let them see for themselves how uniquely funny ghosts can be.

Or better yet, grab a ghost-hunting kit and supplies and investigate paranormal activity in your neighbourhood. That will show those nonbelievers that ghosts are no laughing matter (unless you’re telling one of SpiritShack’s funny ghost jokes – which, in that case, they are certainly a laughing matter!).

Sam Ashford
Sam Ashford - Author

Hey, I'm Sam Ashford! I'm a ghost-hunting expert, writer and founder of SpiritShack. My mission is to help people like yourself learn about spirituality and how to hunt ghosts!